When Extreme Positive and Extreme Negative MEET

I been trying to be the most positive side i could be during these days and weeks.
Never want to try to sulk for a sec ..
I could said i really had trusted God to take care my mum,
To be with her to endure through the pain now.
I wanted to cheer her every moment from now and then.
I DO care of her, IM concern of her and my worries cant be doubt,
but still i know this is not on my hand to worry.

But, my mum on the other hand.
She been doing everything opposite to mine.
Im said in had no concern nor worry on her.
Whether she dead or not will not enter my head.
Gosh,
The word, her expression torn my heart.
It is far pain than broke up with my love one.

I got out of my house and cycle to the clock tower,
I cried, i shout. The hurt within is stil there.
What more i can do....
Im useless,
i wish im a nutritionist,
OR a doctor,
Better if a surgeon.
Of most is best i had a healing hand.

But.....

Anyway, thank to my angel's msg.
She had at least calmed the roaring sea in me